What lies beyond

I find myself googling up random songs on youtube and then googling up the movies which they were sung for..the latest one being Uninvited by Alanis Morrisette and At the beginning from the movie Anastasia and i find myself giving deep sighs....

The way Alanis has sung Uninvited, it seemed like a song from some betrayal, dark movie..but i was really surprised to find it as a soundtrack for City of Angels which is as mush as you can make them...with lovey dialogues like.."I wait all day, just hoping for one more minute with you, and I don't even know you" with Meg Ryan saying her piece and looking so true, so genuine that I can't help but feel like crying. And Nicholas Cage at his romantic best with "I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss of her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One."

And I sigh again...and I laugh with the sheer mushness and romanticism that is filling my heart, mind and soul right now...imagining such dialogues said to me..or even said for me..in real life...and then i realise how incredibly funny and fake they would sound...since at the best and most intense of times when your feelings are so jumbled up and dying to come out...words are just not enugh..so poetry is rather a far fetched dream...But while I am dreaming I mite as well travel to Ireland...sleep in a hammock, walk barefoot in the grass...take pictures of the old stones and hear tales about elves and leprechauns...

When people talk about perfect dreams..I wonder how can that be...since half, actually most of the times I can't remember my dreams...they slip like sand from my fingers...Maybe they day dream..while sitting in the loo, while travelling, while even reading (this happens to me when i find the book really boring or when im too restless to let my mind think and read), while having lunch..and then i realise that everyone lives a lot in their own mind..so when people say, he always lives in his own world..i think that applies to everyone..each one of us take shelter in the world we have built in our mind..for some of us it is a refuge, for others an escape, for some a haven, for others it is simply a place you visit from time to time..but it is there..it exists. For me...I wonder how it is for me..It is at times different things..like the room of requirement in Harry Potter.

At times it is like a gate..an entry into another world..where there's all things that are right..and everything goes according to my way...till reality comes in and knocks..and I jerk back..with a little sigh for what cannot be. At other times, it is simply a refuge..to go and barricade myself..until help comes calling...at other times it is simply a little world with green grass and waterfalls and a shady tree to read a book under..I mean i have never read a book under a shady tree..the entire insect population thriving there would have killed me...

I remember this dialogue from a movie called the mighty where the kid says " there's a place in my head I go to sometimes...there's no one there, just me and the endless sky"

Deep deep sigh :)