Illusions

Madness of the mind prevails, with insanity and dark thoughts. And then you reach deep down and feel the strength...weak and sporadic. You try to pull it out and it becomes fainter...if you give up it may never come out, never be a beam. Never strong enough.

What is strength? And courage? Too see yourself as you are and to believe in you and work on you? Or to fall down, so badly that you are bruised all over and there is only raw pain and then to just lie there, since that is the way you perceive yourself? Are the bruises an illusion? Maybe they don't exist really, just a figment of your imagination, made to keep you there. A perverse laziness.

Illusions don't work when you see through them, through the haze and perceive the heart of the matter. That you won, inspite of a lot of things you won, you did do many things right hence people are here with you. That you may have fucked up, but you did a lot of things correct too.

And fucking up is relative. A little less harshness on you and little more love - Mayuri Shukla

There is more to this.