Boundaries

:) Here I am thinking about how painfully limited life is...And how much there is to do....to live to dream to breathe to love to fight....

I've had too many thoughts this week....most of all are not connected...but they all have something to do with telling me something..over and over and over again...To do what you love...what you like doing...Which is completely different from what you are good at...I may be good at a lot of things, but I love doing only a few things, so I ask myself? What is it that I love? Ergo..I love reading books...that's what I love , deep down..

Writing is a way to express it, but books are even better...so now I have to find a way to merge my writing and my book loving...Sometimes I feel like leaving TV altogether...doing something else..related to the book world...The thought of lesser salary, starting out on something new etc etc scares me..because for all my wordly wise words...I do so love money and the power it gives me...

Airports - That's the first place i went to this week...to see Avi off..Funny how I've always been there to see him off, but never really met him the time he was in India...Avinash is my on off friend..the lab partner who bugged me throughout from physics to chem to bio..who urged me to copy and finish my piece fast..who took away my chem journal and returned it wrapped post the diwali holidays and was down two floors before i cud shout and throw it back at him..avi who turns up on my 20th bday with coconuts as a gift..and carrots :) he's been the constant who kept on changing...Whenever i meet him...i can start on anything but my mile wide smile won't go

Love - Funny how people who claimed to be so famously in love with you in college hate you now..or act all cool...but now I do realise their plight...If it's not returned and you've tried your best..all you can do is withdraw..maybe u can't really forgive the person for not choosing you..over others..

Children - How everywhere they are pretty much the same..the other day a child in the train was playng with the stars on my chappals...and the same day my nephew almost tried to pull my nose ring off...breaking my nose in the process...almost...How a child at Khar station can walk with his pants on his head...while another will stamp his feet and roll on the ground in a mall, much to the chagrin of his parents

When people don't let beggars touch them in autos..or don't give change to a woman selling trinkets in the train...in exchange for a 100 rupee note..I get supremely pissed off...All my anger which is never far away simmers out..it's not like she's begging or stealing..she's asking for money in return for money...these are the same people who will walk past injustice thinking it has nothing to do with them...

I sometimes get disturbed when i see the amount of exploitation that tv does to people...Nishchay even asked me if I was okay...there are times when I get pissed off..mad working hours, madder deadlines..no respect for human worth..there are millions to toil and take my place...only if someone somewhere puts a stop and tries to put things in time...so many people will have decent lives.

I meant for this post to have some lightness..but im guessing too much angst has been building up