Penning down

It's been long since I wrote and I am so tempted to write " So sorry my dahling readers...But I was simply flooded with work and plus my creativity had taken such a big hike..this writer's block I tell you. But, there is so much to catch up on ...My sweethearts! So don't fret, since now I am back with a bang"

But the fact remains that the day I write or talk like this, I shall be literally kicked by all my friends and family for being a complete and utter loser. Another fact being that I barely have any readers so it doesn't make a difference If i write or not..But I was so tempted to write like this...imagining myself as some silly, prissy, high society gossip columnist.

Hospitals are depressing places, this supreme truth comes from the fact that I have had the chance to live in one for close to 36 hours and while my sister wasn't so unwell ..a little boy as thin as a ruler sitting on wheelchair bumped into me up and down twice. And while I don't exactly know what his condition was, the pitiful pink and white checkered uniform did nothing to cheer up the place or him..He looked bad and his eyes were huge in his face. And I realised that I never ever want to be sick enough to be admitted in a hospital and undergo Intravenous treatment..The very sight of the plastic tube pumping into my body is enough to make me die and go all tight inside.
In adddition to that, they remarkably draining out too..I felt like I was sick. I wonder why they never have bright paint for the walls..instead of the depressing blues and whites. Im sure the patients will also feel better and brighter.
Life is going great otherwise, got a raise after one year...will get an increase in job profile and work responsibilities. Need to work harder and push myself though, just like Lagna...Can't afford to laze around. Need to plan for the future and not be content..Need to be on the move.
It would be too much to say that everything is ok now..Though there are times when the world seems engulfed in a big shiny white bubble...all safe and sweet and perfect. I want perfect. I long for perfect.
And there are times when the perfect irritates me and bores me and makes me feel inferior. Since I know I can never be that way...so I guess perfect isn't perfect after all. I remember Harsha telling me.."Happiness is such a state of mind..isn't it" and I walked quietly for about 5 steps before I burst into laughter...It is hard to see Harsha this profound and deep. Though she is very easily satisfied...and hassle free. Give her food, give her clothes..and she's happy.\
If I go to see, I think Mrinal is the best amongst all of us...since after we're all long gone..and submerged in our different paths..She'll still be there, remembering birthdays, anniversaries and parties...She's the sensible one..the stable one..and no wonder she's found stability. It takes two after all to create that magic. And she deserves every bit of it.
Meanwhile romantic novels still continue to turn my head, thought TWILIGHT is not amongst them..It is the most crappiest novel I have ever read with loads of rubbish and totally unbelievable characters. Nora Roberts still continues to be my favorite in that genre..Her Mia's and Laura's and Cybil's are more real than any character I have read.
She makes love seem like sucha big deal..Though I'm sure thats what earns her food. But the most smallest of things, like expectations and details and heartbreak...how she doesn't disqualify them...she explains thems..justifies them and then makes her characters move on and face the world..day after day, reach out to their dreams and open boutqiues/bookshops/agencies etc
That to my mind is living, and living victoriously...by giving it all out..and simply knowing that in the end, you do what you can..after that you simply live. For you..coz no one else can live you life..and if they try and do so..then it's a shame.