That thing called "TEMPER"

I'm like royally pissed right now..more at myself for being such a bloody duffer. Whenever something goes wrong I end up blaming myself for it..even though its the other person's fault. Coz i feel that I shud've have somehow prevented it.And basically all of this stems from an innate maladjusted sense to be god, to be superman, to be Mother teresa.

I rarely get angry on others for their own mistakes, rather i yell at them for my own PERCIEVED shortcomings that I believe I WAS FOOLISH enough to Overlook!! So its ends up in me being called a grouch all the time. and being labelled as serious.

So what the hell shud I DO...Well for starters i think that I shud get rid of this faulty inner sense, by just burning it with a big flame gun and then grinding all the bits that are left to a fine powder only to dump them deep deep into the sea. it is only THEN that I will be able to truly live.


This reminds me of a poem I read somewhere:

AFTER A WHILE

After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of a woman ...... not the grief of a child
And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling in mid flight
Ater a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers
And you learn that you really can endure
You really are strong
You really do have worth
And you learn
And you learn
With every goodbye you learn

- Veronica Shoffstall 1971