Randomness..............

I'm listening to music and I'm in a verry relaxed mood. But somehow whenever i'm relaxed I feel that there is something wrong, I should be going out and pursuing my dreams instead of just lying around. Maybe I belong to the type A Stress group. Highly stressed, feelings of guilt. etc etc etc.

Sometimes, when you watch your friends feeling happy, you realise that what you feel is happiness too, but its mixed with envy..and a twinge of sadness. REASON: they have something that you don't. I felt the same way a few days back, when I looked at some of my friends....It feels bad..U feel like shit when that happens coz u don't want to feel that way, but u do..

SOLUTION: Your friends have as much of a right to be happy as you have, don't spoil it for them..keep u're feelings to your own. or else write them down in your blog for the world to see what kind of a bitch you are.

Coming back, family matters a lot, doesn't it? It quite funny how often I ignore them. Especially now that there are only 3 of them left (rest 2 being married). I used to grumble about the lack of privacy in my house coz somebody or the other used to just get in the way. By the end of the day they all knew what mischief EXACTLY I had been up to. I miss those days......that endless pandemonium...fight for space and clothes and leftover food and the control of the T.V remote. Now I feel that nobody is there to ask me and nag me and irritate me.Coz in thsoe days inspite there being such little space and privacy in the house..there was more laughter, more fun, more tears and fights and patching up, rather than there is today....as I'm writing this, I'm silently yearning for somebody to ask me "Rucha, or ae half foot, what are u doing" and then when I reply "Writing my blog, DU-UH"..she would just give me a push or just press the delete button or do something random..REASON: just because!!! do not ever argue with elder sibling's logic..coz they don't have any..they just make it up according to their rules as and when it suits them!!!!

I have no clue why I've written so much....I know I'm missing my sisters badly, very very badly...and I realise that I'm human after all, just like everybody else.Maybe I'm not so bad after all.

Cheer up!!!