Changes

So today began in a snit...with me making my endless lists. Every list has leftovers of the previous one..until each list looks like the previous ones. But people say these are testing times...And while I should enjoy and look upon it as a passing phase, it's difficult not to be depressed when you're very freshly 23 and wanting to do something out of your life..fast and asap and in your mind you fluctuate between being 21 or 25, so at the best of times you don't know who you are!! It is a rare blue moon day indeed when you're 23..like the sun..the revolutions keep on going.

I love stories about people...sad ones, funny ones, inspiring ones, devious ones..makes me wonder at how much people have done...something about trying to imagine and feeling the second hand pleasure in listening to such things...Makes me want to add mine till all there is an exchange of stories and moments..each zipping out so fast that you're in a hurry to finish them all and not miss out on anything...zip zip zip...words pouring out in a tumble and rush

Exploring the city feels nice..something I always wanted to do and I never thought i'd be doing it with anyone apart from my vela friends. Sometimes self doubt can kill you and others too..anything new necessarily doesn't mean it's wrong or fatal..maybe like the new parts of the city..it's just there waiting to be explored..even if it happens in a roundabout way..the journey matters as much as the end. And then you wonder..oh damn...oh shit..it's there all along...didn't see it at that point.

Words, signs, quotes, songs, movies, moments...all these things matter so much in making you live each day after the other...like riti who sums up her entire day in one line...and wonders at the end of one month at the various moods she put herself through...I do that when i read my old blog posts or my old diary posts..

I read somewhere that people change every 7 years...apparently the cells of your body undergo a change...and everything right down to your spirit changes...so who you are at 7 will not be the same at 14 or 21 or 27...seems like such a philosophical thing to say...but in a way its true...but i think it applies to every year..who you are every year changes...I'd like to be a child once more but I can't, I've gone through that and i'm me now...The best part being that i simply cannot be bothered about a lot of things now...which probably a year ago would have made me sit on my toes (breaking them in the process) and start talking at 32x speed (which i still do)

I'd like to stand on a mountain top and look at the valley below and breathe in...deep deep deep and feel the air slice through my lungs...Alive and fresh and just a little pump of adrenaline