Snip Snap Rituals

When you cut hair, its a process. It's as good as going to the dentist or to the doctor for a routine checkup.

Stylist - "Do you do drugs/ consume alchohol/ smoke?

Me - (In disbelief and righteous indignation) No!! Of course not.

Stylist -"Then how come your losing hair so much? And you have an endless supply of grey hair"

Me - (Ummm..how do i know?) I don't know ..stress maybe

Stylist - (In bored resignation) Ok..watever

Me - Ok..so I want a short and new look...Ok something which i can tie a half pony with

Stylist - (Half pony!!!!! How downmarket) Umm No, I dont think so.. No half ponies. Just short free flowing hair

Me - (Sigh..she's the boss) Ok..But it will look nice right

FACT - Here i am forced to deviate from this discussion to add that whenever you tell a stylist that i want a fuss free, no maintenance hairstyle. TRUST ME that is exactly what you ARE not going to get. A certain amount of fussing, styling will be required every day till you decide to fuck it and not bother with your hair (This usually happens to me by the end of one week post the new haircut)

So coming back to my haircut

The Stylist conducts strange rituals with my hair, while her assistants flit about trying to collect hair from the floor, pass her the surgical instruments and I'm sitting in one position stiff and bored to death while she snips, takes stock, measures, snips again. She is tired, I can sense that, cutting long hair to a bob is not easy, especially when you have a disposition like mine where I can't sit still for a minute

Stylist (After requesting for a chair) Bobs are not easy with long hair

Me - (Too tired to even more and plus I can't move) umm hmm

Sytlist - Just 15 minutes now

Me -(Thank God Thank God Thank god. The crick in my neck is awful) Weak smile

15 minutes elapse, but do i get to move? NO!

Stylist - Just one last minute clean up (while snipping my hair at the ends)

Me - Ok..(And suddenly she snips the scissors too close and leaves a cut on my neck)

Stylist - Oh shit oh shit oh shit..Im so so so sorry

Me (Should I walk out?The haircut;s done and make a scene and refuse to pay? thus saving 800 bucks)

Me - (Sense prevails) It's ok, just be careful

Stylist (relieved look) Cool I'm so so sorry..there we're done!

Me - (Checking if my neck can still move, my legs have cramped up) wow..I need a minute to get my organs working here. (I look at the mirror finally with a better angle)

Me - WOW..i love love love it :) Thank you so much

So, it all turns out well in the end, I pay 880 bucks after a discount thanking her and hoping against hope that the haircut is worth 880 bucks. She tells me to come again for hair coloring..subtle and bold. I thank her but I think not. She's a very sweet lady, and she's happy that I'm happy.

I walk out swinging my bob from end to end checking out my hair in my shadow.

I feel good..I feel good.