Regressed and depressed

Deep sighs give vent to your feelings
I can't write poems with me
Unless I am really depressed

Or lovesick and broken hearted
With no hope but paper and pen
And the solace that words bring

Like right now, when I am low
And the causes so muddled
The reasons so complicated
And the solution so vague

I can't discern through the mists
And I have no patience..sadly
To live it through

Work...Makes me happy
Indecision...Does not
And that very fact has been killing me

Silently all these years,
To be , but not see
To feel but not experience

What is it that I want to do
At 21, I surely ought to know
I can't switch off from jobs
And run from one place to another

In search of momentary peace
And absolution..and new thrills
But to find that one thing

That one holy grail of work
Which you love..That which you find solace in
Where you grow,learn and love

I can't see, can't think
And I'm scared to introspect
To delve deep and see the secrets
The fears, the issues, the shortcomings


Sheesh, something tells me that this will be one whole night of introspection. And my temper which is threatening to burst all boundaries and come out in full force. And it is something that I have worked really hard at to control.

Sigh..As I've said before...Ambition can be such a big bitch sometimes.