Just a thought...

I don't know what has happened to me these days, Life seems like one big roller coaster full of highs one second and the next bottomless lows!!! I'm not a moody person by nature. I love talking, smiling, sleeping eating - in a nutshell I love life!! But nowadays - it's like a rush of adrenaline in one second and the next extreme lethargy, all my ambition is gone..I had a burning need to be something, to do something - it's all been replaced by an indifference and a just- do- it - whatever - the- consequences attitude!! I'm surprised and ashamed of myself, and even more so when I find myself not wanting to do anything about it.I had a dream to write a book, ever since school, but somewhere down the line I just left it at that - A DREAM. I now realise that while I was busy dreaming other people were busy working towards fulfilling their dreams, an 18 year old mad, cackling Rupangi and a 17 yr old kid brought me back to reality - with a hard thump yesterday!!

It's not that I don't have what it takes, I argue with myself. But just the fact that I don't motivate myself enough to want more, to need more, to be satisfied at every small thing is what I'm scared about.I haven't had a long vacation in years and I'm serious. just short trips of 3-4 days.I live in fear of turning into one of those grouches and losers who die with all their dreams and wishes packed tightly in their fist, simply because they were too busy, to tired, to sleepy, not in a good mood, no money, no friends to FULFILL their dreams. I don't want to turn into one of those people who die and they wish they had just one more day to do all they wanted to do, who die in regret that they never ever did what they wanted to do, because there was always time for all those things later, later and later then was too late, until the chance passed them by, never to come back again.

This is my story now, and if I don't take control and stock of my life now, then at even 80 years of age, I will have not even discovered Mumbai, let alone the world.

I'm JUST NOT going to end up like one those loser's who just dream and dream and dream , while others out there achieve them!

I'm gonna get out, and do things now, money or no money, coz tomorrow may be too late.

I read this in Chicken Soup for the Soul - It describes what I'm feeling......................loserish, helpless and out of control, but I will bounce back.

If I Had My Life to Live Over

I'd dare to make more mistakes next time.
I'd relax. I would limber up.
I would be sillier than I have been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously.
I would take more chances.
I would take more trips.
I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.

I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd
have fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I'm one of those people who live sensibly
and sanely hour after hour, day after day.

Oh, I've had my moments and if I had it to do over
again, I'd have more of them. In fact,
I'd try to have nothing else.

Just moments.One after another, instead of living so many
years ahead of each day.

I've been one of those people who never go anywhere
without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat
and a parachute.

If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot
earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.

If I had it to do again, I would travel lighter next time.
I would go to more dances.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
I would pick more daisies.

By Nadine Stair (age 85) from Condensed Chicken Soup for the Soul
Copyright 1996 by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen & Patty Hansen